Ok. So. I watched part of the VMA’s last night before I was torn away by my obsession with Breaking Bad (HOLY HELL!).
And, here is what I saw..
Jay Z and Kanye walking out of what appears to be a giant vagina. On fire. A giant vagina of fire.
Is this an ode to Beyonce’s impregnated womb?
Now, now, now – I love Jay Z. And, I love Kanye. Especially when he says things like “George Bush hates black people” (HILARIOUS). And their new album is dope. See, even white girls got to shout. But, they came out all awesome like, through this
birth canal, er..lit up row of lights and ended the song at the end of the stage. Then, the music stopped and they stood there kinda awkward and then ran off. It was weird. And, this is Jay the mutha effing Zeee and Kan-YAY Wess! Perhaps they should have gone back the way they came?
(There are so many jokes I want to say right now..)
Liked Kanye’s shirt though. But, the crotch of his pants looks wide. And, not in a good way. Not in the way you think I mean.
Then, this? What the..?
It looks like there is pink poop on her head.
There. Someone had to say it.
And, Katy Perry.. What you would get if a Geisha and Rainbow Bright gave birth to a scary white kid with perfect boobs.
I don’t know. Maybe I am just too old for this. But, I feel like there are only a couple of people out there doing the whole “look how crazy I can dress” and they are all losing to Gaga aka Ralph Macchio.
She looked like s Simpson’s version of Ralph. Or, like when you have a dream about someone and you know it is them, but for some reason they look like an exaggerated version of themselves. Voila! Lady Gaga as her abusive transgendered ex-boyfriend!
Ok, then at the end (came back to it after BB) – I thought my TV or digital cable was going out during Little Wayne’s performance. I mean… Every other syllable was dropped. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. What was the point? I get it, you’re pissed at the world, or whatever.
But, really? Oh, you didn’t get you were on TV. Ah. Understandable. I cuss like that too when I am not being recorded.
Now, for my something positive. Beyonce looked amazing on the carpet (that was black btw, oh, those cheeky MTV creatives). She’s wearing Lanvin, which is amazing and she looks incredible.
Womb and all.
And, there ya have it. My highlights and low lights and commentary on the 2011 MTV VMAs.