I worked in retail for 100 years. I started at the bottom – in the dressing room, hanging up tried on clothes and returning them to their racks (that sucked) at Harolds when I was 14? 15? Child labor? I held various positions over the years and have been left with what all retail people have – the feet that are nearly wider than they are long. They are kinda like a beaver’s tail. Mmm, attractive.
But that is all beside the point I will hopefully make somewhere amongst all of this rambling – and no I am not at all bitter about the double wides I have attached to the bottom of my legs. Nope. Not. At. All.
I didn’t sell precious jewelry, I didn’t sell underwear – well, actually – I take that back, I did once sell underwear to someone memorable. Brace yourself… I sold boxer briefs to… ROBERT DOWNEY JR. He cracked a joke about seeing MY underwear. It was really all too much and I feel kinda faint just talking about it…SWOOON. Ohmygodheissodreamy.
I sold jeans, mostly. In fact, the store that I worked for has a “jean” bar if that gives you any idea. I used to be able to tell where a pair of jeans were made just by touching the fabric and considering the weave. Being around that many jeans all the time, learning that much about them and then given my propensity to hoard clothing just a wee little bit – brought me to this place and made me the person I am now… A jeans whore.
Don’t misread that last phrase. I don’t even know a Jean. And, if I did I certainly wouldn’t be his whore. This isn’t the wild west, and I worked in retail – not the other thing. Although sometimes, now that I think about it there totally are parallels between the two “professions”.
A stack of my jeans
I love jeans. I love wide leg, flair, boot cut, skinny’s, vintage, new, stretch. I love the jeans that are raw denim that you are supposed to go sit in a bathtub so that they shrink to your bod. (And in the process dye your finger/toe nails and tub blue).
Over the years I have bought a lot of them. And, I have spent a lot of money on them. And, despite loving them, I still can’t find the right pair. I don’t think there is a “right” pair anymore and if anyone tells you “these are right” they are lying. There are lots of “rights now” for each of the “right now” styles. And, right now, I think these are the “nows” for skinnies:
They are from Old Navy. Yes. OLD NAVY. Yes, the Gap affiliate with the kitch-y commercials spanning the last decade or more. Yes, the one with the woman wearing those huge Liz Claiborne glasses. The one with the cute dog, that is now a mannequin dog.
They are called – and don’t get geeked out by the name or the description: Rock Star Jeggings.
I agree – the name is off-putting. I can’t stand the word “jegging” and we all can’t be rock stars. Really… But, you know what, these are really great. They don’t fit like you imagine something referred to as a “jegging” (1/2 legging, 1/2 jean) would. They have the perfect amount of stretch, are tight in a good way (hold you in, don’t cut you to pieces) and they are SO FREAKING COMFORTABLE, I CAN’T YELL IT LOUD ENOUGH. I never think jeans are comfortable. The two different sales people I spoke to at the store – one was under 5 feet tall and probably 83 lbs and the other was close to 6 ft tall both said the same thing. Seems they fit everyone! And, I was asked if I lost weight the last time I wore them – and if you read this blog you will know I just spent time eating my way through Italy. Have not lost any weight…at all.
I wore the dark blues with a vintage lace top and yellow wedges the other night. I wore them to work with flat sandals and a little sailor top. I wore them to lay on my couch with a v-neck tee. They didn’t lose their shape, or cut into my stomach, give me side fat, or give me a wedgie (which is I am sure you will agree second only in importance to side fat). I am wearing them right now, sitting on my couch crouching over my computer like a hunchback. They come in several different colors (I want the red, now please!), and a million sizes, and three different lengths. I went up a size and they aren’t giving me plumber crack despite not having washed them in several wears. They are super plain, without silly, frilly pocket designs that in a year will geek you out. (Uh, ahem – that means you True Religion).
All of that style stuff is great – but here is the BEST PART – they are less than $40.00. And, with the quick turnover with huge stores like Old Navy, Gap etc. they go on sale super fast. And, by sale – I mean $19.00, then around $13.00 and then around $5.00.
I found mine for $19 and I bought 2 pairs (see hoarder and whore comments above for reference). One pair I am just going to wear the hell out of as they are..perfect. The second pair I am thinking I will add a button on elastic strap to the leg opening to go under my heel so they will stay tucked into boots..more perfect. They do have quite a bit of stretch, so they would pop up a 1/2 an inch or so inside your boot – which is not comfortable or convenient and makes you look like you have fat knees. And, who wants fat knees? Not I, says the woman with fat feet.
I will try to post pics soon of all the different ways I am wearing them. In the meantime, if you find yourself in the suburbs, near a strip mall, follow the Borders Book Stores, Ulta’s and Home Depots on over to the Old Navy that is no-doubt blocking out the sun. Navigate through the incredibly creepy mannequins, and try on a pair of these puppies and see what you think.