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Wedding Dresses….

No, no, no, no, no.  I am not on the search for wedding dresses (keep your shirt on, Dad). But, I am participating in my 15th or maybe 16th wedding later this year.  I say “maybe” because I stopped counting around 8.  And, you know, the number of weddings you participate in is kinda like your “number” – number.  You sort of stop counting at some point.  Is that just me?  Don’t read into that last thing I said.  I am eligible to wear white on my wedding day (keep your shirt on, Dad).  I am also attending three other weddings this year.

So what I am getting at in a super round about way and with way too much sharing is that I am a wedding pro!

And, what I am saying without really saying is that I have left a trail of broke boyfriends in my wedding attending/attendant wake.  Thanks guys, it was fun and you saved me from that weird “single ladies/single dudes” table at the reception.  And, also from the bouquet throwing, generally embarrassing, cat fight for a bunch of dying flowers. Lordy, lordy, lordy.

I smell a reality show here.  And, yes – you can make the joke about the Katherine Heigl character in 27 dresses…Blah blah blah. Insert polite laughter, a nod and a wink and an “I have never heard that one before” through wide smile.

I will have you know that unlike Izzy, my dresses don’t hang in a closet/shrine-to-sad-singlehood.  In fact, I am not totally sure where all of the dresses are and my closet only looks like a shrine to the 70s.  Minus the usual shrine candles and incense because everything is some kind of poly blend – which is of course highly flammable.

And, I really haven’t heard that joke before.  Really!  Wink, wink.

I have not wasted my time as a bridesmaid, or as a wedding script reader, or as wedding guest or as a house-partier.  In fact, I have learned major life lessons.  Like, crowd control (hello, 700 person wedding) and have recognized very interesting sociological and psychological behaviors that only present themselves at weddings.

Additionally, I know exactly the type of person that will let me cut in line for cake.  I totally know how to tell which bartender/waiter won’t water down my whiskey.  I know all the appropriate times to cry and when and how to keep my mouth zipped in the bride’s room before the ceremony (can I get a hells yeah, ladies?).  So, obviously it hasn’t all been about collecting light pink nail-polishes, fake eyelashes and gold toned strappy sandals.  Even I am not THAT cynical.  I have generally enjoyed traveling and eating and drinking well, and staying in cool hotels in cool cities.  And, just celebrating these exciting, monumental events with dear friends.  You know the whole deal.  It is an honor to be a part.

My friends have great taste and have all looked absolutely amazing on their wedding day.  Most of my lovely brides have worn something white-ish and traditional. <Glowy Angel’s Halo – Cream” and “Heavens Light – Blue White”>  It is interesting to me that only a couple have worn something contemporary or designed their own.  And, most have stuck to the typical wedding dress designers.  I have always wondered why only a couple went couture?  And no one went colored?  Tradition/schmadition, I say!

This Elie Saab lime green frayed silk lace and gold sequined gown makes me tear up.  SEQUINS!  Bright, shiny, gold.

Elie Saab Frayed Sequin Gown

Gold lurex and platinum sequined Marc Jacobs?  SERIOUSLY! Platinum sequins at the bottom, like you have just barely been dipped in glitter.  Expensive glitter – but what the hell.  You only get married…er, wear a wedding dress once.

Marc Jacobs Lovani Dress

And, I get it.  The white thing.  So, for all you virgins (right..) on your wedding day, I thought these were really beautiful.

Alexander McQueen Iris Print Silk Chiffon Gown
Rochas Grecian V-Neck Gown
Marchesa Strapless Beaded Gown
Marchesa Embellished Silk Gown

Right, right.  The last one is actually “blush” – but whatevs.  Pink is virgin-y enough, I think.  In fact, perhaps it is more virgin-y that white in a way?

I can’t stop saying virgin.

Anyway, my deep thoughts on wedding dresses…

Oh, and all you ladies wearing white?  Your secret is safe with me.  Really.

XOXO – Secret Recess

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Green Thing: Laundry lines, dog poop and potting soil

I felt like my grandmother forgoing the dryer today and using the laundry line.  I felt like an idiot when I realized I needed to put on bug-repellant to step outside my back door and into the crunchy, dry, tundra that is my yard.  I thought I had sufficiently ignored the back yard long enough to discourage any form of life for making it their home.  I mean, really!  Isn’t the back-back of the yard reserved for dog poop and old potting soil?

Truth is, I lived without a working, plugged in dryer for 9 years.  I had a washer, mind you.. But the apartment building I lived in was built sometime in the early Renaissance, and the dryer I had was built sometime in the 1990s and would have blown the delicate “electrical” system that was being generated by a rat on a wheel somewhere in the basement.  Were there basements in the Renaissance period?  I don’t know, but you get the idea.  There were certainly rats, this I am sure of…  But I digress.  The apartment was old and charming with no amenities…like a solid electrical system.

Anyway, I spent maaaaaannnny days wishing for a dryer for at least my sheets and towels.  I cursed cold and/or wet weather up and down when it rolled in and kept me from hanging my things out on a laundry day.  And, laundry mats?  FORGET IT.  Ugh.  So, when I moved, I was thrilled when I could use that 1990s dryer and RUN IT ALL THE TIME!  Sometimes with only panties inside!  Mwahahahaa!

But, you know, there are things that just get worn out by the dryer.  And, who can say that they haven’t pulled out that load of fluffy Bounce smelling laundry to find that something has shrunk to the size of a fancy doll sweater?  That happened to me, BTW, more than once during my manic “drying daze”.

I unrolled the long, tangled mess of laundry line that the person that lived in my house before me so thoughtfully left.  I always felt like the big cord-y, nearly impossible to untie knot was hanging there and taunting me from the poop and potting soil-y, back-backyard, trying to remind me of my Renaissance past.  But, finally, today I  decided we should try to be allies instead of foes.  Besides, it has things I need – like a breeze, and colorful clips.  And, someone needs to speak and advocate on behalf of the fancy doll sweaters.  Right?

So, 5 mosquito bites and one rope burn later – VOILA!  My jeans and things have a new place to hang  – literally.

And me?  I have to pick up poop and cover myself in repellant from now on.  But, hey!  We’re trying to be more green by not burning so much electricity – and hopefully saving some of my clothes in the process – so I don’t have to buy more – so little children in China don’t have to go to work and make them with their tiny hands.  YAY!

So, if you haven’t tried it yet – do.  For the children.

#Greenthing

My Granny Would be Proud

XOXO – Secret Recess

Etsy Store: Pretty Penny Designs

Loving this store in Etsy, Pretty Penny Designs.

Simple, not expensive, and totally original.

Some of my favs from the store..

XOXO – Secret Recess

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